


The Fiction, the Romance, the Technicolor Dreams

by withdiamonds



Category: Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-15
Updated: 2007-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-18 02:35:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/184049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withdiamonds/pseuds/withdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for MtYG, 2007</p><p>Justin and JC through the ages, with love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fiction, the Romance, the Technicolor Dreams

_**xii**_

 _Hey, C. I'm back. Give me a couple of days for the jet lag, yeah? I'll call you soon._

Justin wearily thumbed his phone off and let his head fall back against the seat, giving himself a minute before he had to move. He took a deep breath, grabbed his carryon bag, and stood up, bumping his head on the overhead compartment in the process. "Ow. Fuck."

The first class flight attendant smiled sympathetically and Justin dredged up an answering smile from somewhere deep inside. His reserves of goodwill were almost depleted and it wasn't easy, but he must have done an okay job if the telltale blush on the guy's face was any indication.

Justin's mom told him that insisting one of his cars be waiting at LAX so he could drive himself home from the airport was a stupid idea, and he realized now that she'd been right. Somehow, Justin always forgot how many hours it took to fly from Australia to LA, and now he was so tired he thought he might start seeing double.

But he wanted to be able to go home alone, to escape from all the people he'd been with since the beginning of his tour, which at this point actually felt like the beginning of time itself.

His mom and Paul left Australia a few days before the tour was over, and Jessica went with them. Justin loved them all dearly, but he needed to room to breathe.

Perversely, now that he was alone, the one thing he wanted most in the whole world was another person, as long as that person was willing to drive.

Not trusting his exhausted brain to remember simple things like numbers and directions, he checked his text message one more time for the location of his car in the parking lot. He pulled his hat down over his eyes, hoisted his bag over his shoulder, and shuffled off towards the door. The setting sun hit his eyes as he exited the airport and he thanked God someone else was responsible for his luggage.

There wasn't supposed to be anyone in his car, they were just supposed to drop it off, but in the increasing gloom of twilight, Justin could see a dark shape behind the wheel. He threw a quick glance around the dim lot, where the lights were just starting to flicker on overhead, wondering if he'd been wrong to insist that he didn't need any security for the short walk to the parking lot.

And then he got closer and saw who was sitting in the driver's seat with a shit-eating grin on their face, and he smiled. He smiled because he couldn't help it, although he was a little pissed. He thought he'd made it clear that he'd be tired.

Justin didn't even bother trying to wrest his car keys away from JC. He really was just that exhausted. He couldn't kiss JC hello, because so many paparazzi hung out at LAX, but he really wanted to, mostly in gratitude that he no longer had to drive in LA traffic.

Justin yawned, stretched, and settled down into the leather seat of his car and said, "I'm fine, C," knowing that JC was probably freaking out at how pale and thin Justin looked.

"You look like shit warmed over, man," JC said as he negotiated a turn.

"Thank you, JC," Justin said dryly. "I appreciate that. Because I haven't looked in a mirror lately, and I was wondering."

"You just look - " JC started, but Justin stopped him.

"I always look like this after a tour, JC. If you don't know that by now, I have to wonder just how far up your ass your head's been all these years."

It maybe wasn't the most politic thing Justin could have said, seeing as how JC was in control of Justin's favorite car, but it did the trick. JC shut his mouth with a snap, and when Justin looked over at him, his lips were tight and his eyes squinted in annoyance. Justin sighed, reached over and rested his hand on JC's thigh.

After a moment, when JC didn't push it off, Justin spoke. "I'm sorry. I'm tired. I'm happy to see you." He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, hoping that would be enough.

He woke up when JC pulled up in front of his own house. Justin blinked, trying to get his bearings, and JC said uncertainly, "I didn't know who might be at your house tonight, man."

Justin nodded. Hopefully no one was at his house, because that's what he'd said he wanted. But sometimes people showed up at Justin's house anyway, even when he told them not to. Where _people_ meant his mother. "This works," he said, smothering a yawn.

They walked to the door, Justin's arm thrown over JC's shoulders. JC only unwrapped his arm from around Justin's waist when he had to punch in his access code. Justin missed the warmth.

Justin usually slept for shit on long flights and all he wanted was to collapse on the nearest soft surface, but he knew from experience that would be a mistake. He needed to stay awake for - he looked at his watch and groaned - at least three more hours before he crashed.

JC had food waiting, and it was such a relief after a full day of airplane food that this time Justin really did kiss him, leaning over the pasta and the salad and the bread and the beer to lick gratefully at his mouth, JC's warm lips sliding against his.

"C'mon, J," JC said, when Justin was finished eating and trying not to nod off over his ice cream. It was criminal to waste ice cream, but his eyelids just kept drooping.

JC was laughing at him, but the laughter sounded kind in Justin's ears as JC gently pushed him into the shower. "Can you stand up long enough to get clean, man?"

Justin nodded, but then he almost drowned when he tried to wash his hair. He wished JC would come help him rinse the shampoo out of his eyes, but he knew JC would be waiting naked on the bed when Justin finally extricated himself from the shower. It would be nice if Justin was awake for that, so he turned the hot water off and stood under the cold spray just to make sure.

Not only was JC spread out on the bed naked when Justin made it to the bedroom, but his hand was between his legs, his feet were planted firmly on the mattress and his knees were spread wide.

Justin's eyes followed JC's hand where it disappeared in the shadows between his legs and that helped to wake him up, at least a little. He smiled at JC, and the smile he got in return had him on the bed before he was even aware that he was moving.

Justin had never fallen asleep during sex before, and certainly never during one of JC's blowjobs, but tonight it was a close call. He stretched out under JC's tongue, languorous and hot, while JC hummed, licking music into his skin. He could feel his orgasm teasing him from a long way off, and when he finally came, his dick warm and slippery in JC's mouth, it was slow and sweet and it left him breathless.

He pulled JC up, kissing him sleepily. JC chuckled. "You crapping out on me, J?"

"Mm...mm," Justin mumbled, reaching down to wrap sleep-clumsy fingers around JC. He knew he had to hold on just a little while longer or JC would never let him hear the end of it. But JC took pity on him and curled his fingers around Justin's to help him along. Together they worked JC's cock, and with just a few strokes, he spilled over their joined hands, hot and slick.

As he wrapped his arms around JC and pulled him back tight against his chest, Justin said, sleepily, "Hey, did you get the rest of those tracks mastered?"

JC nodded, then tilted his head back on Justin's shoulder and kissed him softly. "Go to sleep, J. I have a meeting in the morning. We'll talk later, and you can listen to them then. I know you have a million things to do yourself, man."

Justin closed his eyes. "Okay." He tucked his knees behind JC's and yawned. "I wanna hear how it was being in the studio with AJ and the Boys, too." He was almost asleep, but he roused himself enough to mumble, "Thanks, C."

JC reached back and squeezed Justin's hip in a silent _you're welcome._

 

 _ **xi**_

"Lance is coming out." JC's voice sounded strained, like he was trying not to laugh. Or yell, sometimes it was hard for Justin to tell the difference.

"Coming out here?" Justin asked. "I thought he was already in LA?" He had been last time Justin talked to him, which, admittedly, was a while ago.

"Fuck, Justin, no, I mean he's _coming out._ Of the damned _closet_. In fucking _People Magazine_." And now Justin recognized that note in JC's voice. It was impending hysteria.

"Oh, fuck." Justin gripped his phone tighter and clenched his teeth. That one muscle in his jaw immediately started twitching.

"Yeah." JC sighed. "Unclench, J. You'll get all spasm-y and you know you hate that."

"You're just worried I won't be able to blow you later," Justin said, then he laughed weakly. "That bastard."

"It's Lance. How bad could it be?" JC asked, hope edging out the panic in his voice, but only by a little.

"You said it, dude. _It's Lance._ " There followed an uneasy silence and Justin pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Okay, C, I gotta go. Thanks for the warning, and I'll see you tonight."

In his head, Justin was already revising the canned answers he'd been feeding the press during his promo runs for _FutureSex/LoveSounds._ He needed to call Johnny. He needed to call his mom. Stupid Lance. Now Justin was going to have to answer a bunch of questions about Lance's sex life instead of about his new album. Lance hadn't even bothered to call Justin and warn him and Justin might just have to kill him the next time he saw him.

He realized with a start that JC was still talking.

"Fine, fine," he was saying. "I'm bringing a new song with me." He started singing in Justin's ear. " _If you play with fire then you'll get burned_ \- " he broke off abruptly. "Okay, later, dude," and he was gone.

Being in the studio with JC was like breathing, something Justin would never, ever forget how to do. He didn't have to think about it, it just happened, like the way they communicated without needing words.

In the studio, too, it was easy to forget all the bullshit, all the myriad ways JC's career was fucked to hell and back, and that was a relief, at least to Justin. There were things he didn't have to think about here, in this place where they were still on equal footing.

Being in the studio with JC also made Justin horny. It always had and thank God Chris wasn't here to give him shit about it anymore. He could grope JC all he wanted when the sound engineer wasn't looking and there was no knowing snicker to annoy him into finally aiming a slap at the back of Chris's head and then having to listen to the resultant bitching.

JC smiled lazily at him, leaning over and whispering in his ear, "Later, J, later. Behave," as he closed his fingers around Justin's wrist and moved his hand away from his crotch.

It was a dangerous game to play, but that was one reason Justin loved it. Cameron would kill him if he and JC got caught, but that was nothing compared to what Lance would do if they stole his thunder by outing themselves before his big splash in _People_ magazine. Justin frowned. He hoped Diane wasn't being a bitch about things.

He shook off that thought and glanced behind him to see how much attention Geoff was paying to them. Justin took being in the studio very seriously, especially since this was JC's song, but seeing JC so focused made him hard. He couldn't help it. JC was nodding seriously, worrying his lower lip with his teeth and Justin wanted to kiss him. He'd been feeling like that a lot lately. He and JC hadn't worked together in several years and Justin wondered why he'd avoided it for so long.

"Focus, J." JC said. His exasperation was clear in the way his forehead wrinkled, and Justin smiled at him.

"What if I want to focus on you?" Justin winced at how cheesy that sounded, and he grinned at JC self-consciously.

"Then _you_ can pay for the studio time," JC said, but he smiled back at Justin and added, "Just give it another hour, 'k?"

Justin cocked his head, considering. "Nope." Geoff, who had known and worked with them for years, looked up from what he was doing at the soundboard, peered uneasily between the two of them, and hastily cleared his throat.

"I'm outta here, guys. Justin, same time tomorrow? Tim's coming by, right?" Geoff was up and heading to the door.

Justin nodded without taking his eyes off JC. "Yeah, sure, Tim, right, yes he is, see you then."

He waited until the door closed behind Geoff, then said, "C'mon, C, the song's great. Leave it for now."

JC closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then nodded. "I know. It's just - " he stopped and sighed.

"I get it, C." Justin really did. JC didn't tell him everything, but he didn't have to. Justin knew the music industry better than most, and JC's situation was complicated. This here, being together in the studio, this was what he could do about it.

They'd gone from making music to making love so many times in the past that checking to see the door was locked and the recording equipment turned off was practically second nature. Years of sweet familiarity made it easy for Justin to know when to sink to his knees, when JC would be turning around from listening to the song play back one last time, to know just when Justin could reach for the buckle on JC's belt.

He smiled up at JC as he tugged his jeans and underwear down past his hips, just far enough that JC's cock and balls were exposed, the waistband of his boxers nudging up against the soft underside.

JC moaned quietly and whispered, "Justin." Justin fit his hand around the base of JC's dick, his palm resting against JC's balls, holding him in place as he swallowed him down.

JC's hips jerked and Justin opened his throat, took a deep breath through his nose, and let JC go, let him do what he wanted.

JC came with the same noise he always did, the one Justin had been listening to for almost a decade.

JC hauled Justin to his feet, kissing him fiercely and reaching for the top button of his jeans. He wrapped warm fingers around Justin's dick, jerking him fast and dirty. Justin frantically shoved his jeans down with the hand that wasn't gripping the back of JC's neck and moaned into JC's mouth.

JC pulled back from Justin enough to murmur, "That's it, baby, come for me, God J, I love the sounds you make."

By the time Justin caught his breath, JC had wiped him clean with what Justin suspected was the bottom of his own t-shirt and tucked him back into his jeans. "Fucker," Justin said, but he smiled and kissed JC one more time.

JC grinned back at him. "It'll dry. Let's go find some food. I'm starving."

Justin flung his arm around JC's shoulder as they left the darkened studio behind them. "So, C, I'm really looking forward to your birthday party next week. Cam is, too."

JC looked gratified for a minute, his smile almost shy. "Cool. I'm glad you guys can make it."

"Yeah," Justin continued as if JC hadn't spoken. "I talked to Chris the other day." He watched as JC's expression turned wary. "He's finally decided what to get you." He paused, then took pity on JC and ended the suspense. "He's getting you midget male strippers."

JC paled, then narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "No, he's not."

Justin snorted. "Just wait and see, man. Wait and see."

 

 _ **x**_

"Are you gonna talk to me, JC?" Justin was impressed that JC was answering his own phone. Lonnie had spent the weekend stuck so far up JC's ass that Justin half-expected him to be doing it for him.

He'd probably seen that it was Justin calling and told JC to answer it himself. Lonnie wasn't stupid.

As far as Justin was concerned, this weekend in Miami was the last Challenge for the Children NSYNC was ever going to have. He was so done with it. The whole weekend had been miserably uncomfortable and awkward. The only time he hadn't wanted to kill himself was when they sang the _National Anthem_ , and even that got weird when they were done, the five of them wandering off the court in five different directions.

He was willing to take responsibility for that, although he still maintained that the meeting that ended everything for good hadn't even taken place until Monday morning, so the crappy weekend wasn't really his fault. Anyway, it's not like they all hadn't already known it was over.

And none of that explained JC's behavior during the past four days.

"Hello, Justin." JC was at his pissy best this afternoon and Justin tightened his jaw. Nobody could make his TMJ flare up quicker than JC. "I'm talking to you now, aren't I?"

JC - " Justin started, but JC cut him off.

"Don't you have a plane to catch?" JC asked. His tone implied that he wouldn't be happy until Justin was actually on that plane, traveling rapidly away from wherever JC was.

"Not for a couple of hours. I wanted to talk to you before we left." Justin tried to keep the note of pleading out of his voice. "You and I really haven't had a chance to talk all weekend." He wanted to add that the next time he saw Lonnie he would be sure to congratulate him on his impressive cockblocking skills, but he thought he shouldn't push his luck. JC could be a real bitch if he was ticked off enough.

"You don't want to _talk_ to me, Justin. You just want to get laid by someone other than Cameron this weekend," JC said obnoxiously. Justin could hear the hurt underlying the anger in JC's voice, and he frowned.

"What the hell is the matter with you, JC? Why are you so mad at me?" Justin meant to sound angry, but he only managed to sound plaintive.

"Gee, I don't know, Justin. Could it be that you just ended any chance of us - of the group - of anything?" JC said, cold fury in his voice.

"JC," Justin said with something close to exasperation. "Just because _Lance_ hasn't been paying attention, you of all people should know better than - you _did_ know - "

"No, you don't get to lay this on Lance," JC growled. "He loves you, he loves _us_. You don't get to be pissed at him because he's hurt." Justin couldn't remember JC sounding this mad in a long time.

"I'm sorry," Justin said. He didn't know what he could say that didn't sound defensive. "But, C, this whole weekend, you've been...off, or something. Even before I - " He deliberately softened his voice. "What's up, man?"

Silence. Then in a completely different tone, JC said, "I've just been having some problems with someone - it sounds stupid, J, I know it does, but someone's been, um, bothering me." He sighed heavily into the phone. "Kind of, um, like, stalking me."

Justin felt a thrill of fear. "What? Why the hell didn't you tell me? How the hell long has this been going on? Why didn't we _know_ , JC?" Justin was angry. "We should have _known_ , you should have _told_ us!" He made himself stop yelling, waited for JC to say something.

"Because it makes me feel stupid. And anyway, Lonnie was here." JC sounded embarrassed. He liked for people to think he had his shit together.

Justin closed his eyes. "No kidding Lonnie was there, C. That fucker wouldn't even let _me_ near you, let alone anyone who wanted to hurt you."

Neither one of them had much to say to that, and Justin wanted to bite his tongue.

He finally said, "I'm glad Lonnie was there for you JC, but I wish I'd known." He didn't blame Lonnie, exactly, for not telling him. Lonnie was as loyal as they came, but Justin still wished he'd known. "Can I come to your room? Please, just let me come to your room. I need to talk to you before I go." He lowered his voice. "Please?"

Another pause. "Fine, Justin," JC said, sounding defeated, and he ended the connection.

It took Justin a while to navigate the elevators while trying to avoid running into any fans that were still lingering in the hotel. When he finally got to JC's room, JC opened the door and turned away, leaving Justin to come in or not.

Justin closed the door behind him and waited, watching while JC walked to the window and stared down at the beach, his shoulders rigid and his back stiff.

"C."

JC's face was tight when he turned around. Justin knew that look.

"Please." He put years of love and knowledge into one word.

JC nodded once, so quickly Justin might have missed it. Justin slowly crossed the room and put a hand on JC's shoulder as if gentling a skittish horse. JC didn't look at him, but Justin leaned forward and kissed him anyway.

JC turned on him and shoved him back onto the bed. They tumbled down together, pulling at their clothes and rocking roughly against each other. That was okay, Justin could do angry sex if that's what JC wanted. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

Justin barely had time to get their pants shoved out of the way before JC had their dicks lined up and rubbing together. He didn't say a word, just bit at Justin's neck and humped frantically as Justin gripped his shoulders and hung on for the ride. They both came almost before Justin got his bearings. It was over much too soon. Justin moaned as he shivered under JC's onslaught, but JC was silent, as if he were withholding sound from Justin on purpose.

JC tried to roll off to the side, but Justin wrapped his arms around his waist and held on. "JC," he said softly in JC's ear. JC shuddered and tried again to pull away. "Are you going to tell me about whoever it is that's giving you a hard time?"

JC didn't answer him for so long that Justin figured he wasn't going to. He sagged backed into the mattress and let JC go. Justin stood and slowly tugged his pants up. JC lay with his eyes closed, his arm flung over his face, not moving.

Justin sighed and started for the door. "I'll see you later, JC." He hesitated, hoping for some reaction from JC. He hated leaving things like this.

"Wait," JC whispered. Still avoiding Justin's eyes, he said, "It was just a guy. We hooked up once, _once_ , and - " he stopped. He sat up and looked at Justin sadly. "He just wasn't a very nice guy is all." He held up a hand as Justin started to speak. "It doesn't matter, I think he's given up by now. He - just wasn't very nice," he repeated, more to himself than to Justin.

Justin turned back to the bed and reached out, pulling JC up, holding him close. He kissed behind JC's ear once, then pulled back and said, "I love you."

JC nodded. "I know. Go catch your flight. I'm fine, man. Really."

As he slipped out the door, Justin looked back at JC, standing naked in the middle of the room. There was a smile on his face, one that reached his eyes for the first time this weekend.

"See you later, J," he said softly.

 

 _ **ix**_

" _Take a Valium, bitch?_ Really?" JC was having a hard time containing his laughter, Justin could tell. He was tempted to just hang up on his ass, and his finger actually hovered over the off button for a minute. Then he decided his need to bitch at someone who would understand was bigger than his need for JC to stop laughing at him.

"The guy was a total asshole," he informed JC severely.

"Oh, I know, J, I know. He totally was, man." JC's voice was warm with understanding. "You probably should have hung up on him sooner."

"I know," Justin said. "I just - "

"You just can't be shitty to people, at least when you're working, I get it. I know you, Justin," JC said fondly. "You're a polite, Southern boy and you want everyone to like you, no matter what."

"This is harder than I thought it was going to be," Justin admitted quietly. "I didn't expect the questions to be so..."

"So rude? So stupid and repetitive? So fucking intrusive?" JC laughed sympathetically. "I gotta admit, I didn't expect it to be this bad, either."

They sat in silence, contemplating how fucked up the business of being famous could be, and then Justin couldn't help himself. "I don't want to be the _Prince of Pop_ ," he blurted into the phone, then kicked himself as he waited for JC to laugh at him again. He was close to whining and he knew it.

But JC didn't laugh at him. He sighed and said, "It's weird, isn't it, it's always been weird, to be as successful as we are and still not get the respect." More silence. "Pop isn't so bad, Justin. And at least you're the Prince, right, and not some lowly peasant."

Justin supposed so. They sat and breathed a few more minutes, and then Justin said, "Hey, where are you?" He actually had no idea what city JC was in.

"Me? Oh, I'm at my Mom and Dad's house," JC said. His voice was smug.

"Are you kidding me, C? You're in Chicago, too?" JC cackled in Justin's ear. "Why didn't you tell me? You fucker."

"How do you think I heard you on the radio this morning, cat?" JC sounded inordinately proud of himself. He didn't often pull one over on Justin, or on anyone for that matter, so Justin graciously let him have his little victory.

"I'm at the Four Seasons, you ass." He hesitated. He hadn't really seen much of JC since he'd started promo on _Justified,_ and he wasn't sure if things were awkward or not. He didn't know if he was allowed to ask. He finally settled on, "Can you come over?"

"Sure, J," JC said softly. "Give me a couple of hours and I'll be there."

When JC knocked at Justin's hotel room three hours later, Justin had been asleep for two of them. He staggered to the door and flung it open, not even looking to see who was there, he was that disoriented. JC was wearing a tattered denim jacket and a ratty bucket hat pulled down over his eyes. His jeans were baggy and hung dangerously low on his hips.

Justin rubbed the last of the sleep out of his eyes as he stood back to let JC in. "Because hot homeless guys are so inconspicuous at the Four Seasons, dude."

JC smiled. "Hey, no one noticed me, man. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are, and I'm damn glad to see you, dude." Justin grabbed JC's hat and pried it off. It caught on his forehead then came free, leaving his hair full of static electricity, flying around his head. Justin reached out a hand to smooth it down, and JC leaned into the touch.

"Missed you, J." He turned and looked around Justin's suite. "You got anything to eat?"

Justin laughed. "No, but we can call Room Service if you want."

JC nodded in eager agreement. "I'm starving."

"Of course you are," Justin said. "I know for a fact your mom _never_ feeds you." Justin was hungry, too, so he shoved the Room Service menu at JC and let him order.

JC ate like he always did, as if it were his last meal on earth, and he listened to Justin bitch about how much it sucked doing promo all by himself. He didn't once say _well, if you hadn't dumped the rest of the group you wouldn't be doing it all by yourself, would you,_ the way the little voice in Justin's head did all the time, and for that Justin was grateful.

An hour later, JC wiped up the rest of the ketchup with the last French fry, sat back in his seat, sighed contentedly and said, "There, that's better." He smiled at Justin, eyes warm and affectionate. "You feel better now, Justin?"

Justin did. "But I know how I can feel even more better." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

JC shook his head. "Cheesy, J. Always with the cheese." He stood up and walked into the bedroom. Turning in the doorway, he cocked his head. "You coming, man?"

Justin didn't have to be asked twice.

"Take your clothes off and get on the bed." That sounded like an order and Justin's heart rate sped up. JC looked at him steadily, waiting. Justin liked it when JC got like this.

He scrambled out of his clothes and stretched out on the bed on his back.

"Roll over and spread your legs."

"Aren't you going to get undre - " but the look in JC's eyes had Justin trailing off mid-sentence. "Okay, just me, then," he said as he turned over onto his stomach.

JC licked and kissed his way down Justin's back, stopping to bite at his shoulder blade, and Justin knew there would be marks in the morning, marks he could take with him when he went back to his real life, the one that didn't have JC in it like it used to.

JC put his hands on Justin's ass and pulled, gently spreading him open, and then JC's warm, wet tongue flicked over him, once, twice, and Justin whined high in the back of his throat and pushed back. JC's hands held him firmly in place, and Justin cursed into his pillow.

JC laughed softly, slipping a spit-slick finger inside him, and Justin pushed back. "God, JC, come on, please."

JC fucked him the way he always did, like it was the most important thing he'd ever done. Justin missed this, he missed JC, sometimes he felt like he'd lost a limb, but there wasn't much he could do about it now.

Justin shifted under JC's weight and JC rolled off to the side, his jeans tangled around his knees, his shirt twisted up under his armpits. He smiled sleepily and nodded when Justin said, "Stay the night?"

Justin closed his eyes and slept.

 

 _ **viii**_

"'Sup, J?" JC answered his phone on the second ring, so Justin must have caught him before the need to nap overtook him.

"Hey, C." Justin hesitated. He felt kind of like a big baby, but Chris had been on the phone with Dani for the past hour since they'd gotten back to the hotel from the venue and Justin needed someone to talk to.

A post-sound check JC was always ready for a nap and Justin hated to deprive him of some much needed sleep - okay, no he didn't, not really. Not today. He didn't care about JC catching up from last night's clubbing. He cared about being lonely and miserable and his best friend being too busy on the phone with his ex-girlfriend to pay any attention to him.

"Can I come over?" Even to his own ears Justin sounded like he was five years old. He hoped it worked.

JC yawned into the phone but said, "Sure. I'm right next door - can you find your way or should I call Lonnie?" JC laughed his dorky laugh in Justin's ear.

Justin rolled his eyes. JC had the lamest sense of humor on the planet. "I think I can make it okay, JC. Send out a search party if I'm not there in any hour." He flipped his phone closed and knocked on JC's door.

Justin got all settled on JC's bed, sitting cross-legged and drinking vodka straight from one of the tiny bottles out of the mini-bar. JC sat across from him, mirroring his position, and their knees bumped together reassuringly.

"I miss her."

JC smiled sadly at Justin, peering past the curls that bounced around his eyes. "I know you do, J. You guys have been through a lot together and now - " he shrugged.

"Now she's gone. She was a cheating bitch and she broke my heart," Justin said morosely, choosing another small bottle from the pile between their feet. He struggled with the cap, trying to twist it off. It seemed to be stuck.

JC plucked the bottle out of Justin's fingers, twisted the cap off with a quick flick of his wrist, and handed it back to Justin before he answered him. "Doesn't mean you didn't love her, though, J, even if she is a cunt," he said, nodding his head wisely.

Justin downed the - he looked closely at the bottle - Southern Comfort in one swallow and said, "Well, fuck her." He sighed unhappily. "Except I miss her."

"Of course you do. She's a sweet girl, man. Remember that time, back on the Club? When Ryan and Matt tried to pants you? Brit totally came to your rescue, dude." JC laughed like a loon again.

"Shut up and give me that bottle of tequila. And you're not helping, you know," Justin said.

JC handed it over. He kept the miniature bottle of rum for himself. "Sure I am." He smiled.

"I know what would help," Justin said, hopefully. "You could blow me."

JC had his little bottle tipped up to take a drink. He snorted at Justin's words, choking and spitting rum all down the front of his shirt. "Fucker," he sputtered. "Just for that, I think you should blow me."

"Okay," Justin said, and he wiggled to get closer to JC. "I'm not kissing you, though, you're drooling rum all over the place, JC."

JC reached out and grabbed the back of Justin's neck. "Shut up, Justin," he said, and planted a wet, rummy kiss right on Justin's mouth. Justin pulled back and licked his lips.

"Not bad, C," and he was just about to pounce and wrestle JC down on the bed when there was a knock at the door. "Dammit."

JC struggled to untangle himself from where his and Justin's legs had gotten wrapped around each other. It wasn't easy and whoever was at the door obviously ran out of patience. They also had a key card, because the door opened and Lance walked in.

It figured.

Lance looked at the two of them sprawled on the bed surrounded by miniature dead soldiers. He raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. In fact, he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, rummaging in the pile of bottles, looking for an unopened one.

JC narrowed his eyes at him. "What?"

Lance sighed. "You know how Chris has been on the phone with Dani all afternoon?"

Justin nodded. Oh, yes, he knew.

Lance sighed again. JC said, "What's wrong, man?"

"Busta got sick and Dani took him to the vet but they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. He died." Lance looked like he might cry. He liked dogs a lot.

JC closed his eyes and muttered, "Shit."

"Oh, crap," Justin said. He looked at Lance. "How's he doing? What's he doing? Is he still talking to Dani?" He scrambled up off the bed.

Lance held out a hand. "Whoa, cowboy. He's in his room and he said he'd see us when we go back to the venue. He wants to go out and get wasted after the concert tonight." He looked between the two of them, taking in their disheveled state. "Which you two seem to have gotten a head start on. You wanna come with, or do you have, um, _plans_ later?" Only Lance could make the word _plans_ sound so dirty.

"We're in Chicago, dude. I'm hanging with my parents." JC paused. "But I'm sure they'll - "

"No, C," Justin said. "We're in _Chicago_. Don't waste it. Me and Lance'll take care of Chris."

Lance nodded and said, "Bus leaves for the venue in half an hour. I'd change my clothes if I were you. You guys smell like you fell in a vat of rum."

JC sniffed at himself and grimaced. "You're right, dawg."

Lance made a face back at him and said, "Later," as he slipped out the door.

Justin leaned down and cupped his hand around the back of JC's head. He kissed him slow and sweet, sliding his tongue over JC's bottom lip, then pulled back and straightened up. "Thanks, C."

JC nodded. "Any time, J. Wanna save water and shower together?"

Justin laughed. "Very original, C," he said, as he followed him into the bathroom, stripping off his booze-soaked shirt as he went. "I'll bet you say that to all the girls."

 

 _ **vii**_

"Goddamn mechanical bulls," JC bitched in Justin's ear. "My ass hurts. I'm gonna kill Wade. I'm gonna rip his fucking balls off and put them back on with Velcro so I can rip 'em off again."

"JC - " Justin tried to break in before JC really got going on the Velcro rant, which Justin had heard before, but he wasn't quick enough or loud enough, apparently. JC talked right over him.

"And don't even get me started on the goddamn Velcro," he fumed. "Do you know how rough that shit is when you miss the bull's-eye and have to grab onto it with your hands to keep from falling on your face? My palms are raw, dude."

Justin wisely ignored the obvious joke about JC's palms. Ongoing rehearsals for the _PopOdessey Tour_ had eroded JC's sense of humor down to practically nothing and Justin liked to think of himself as an intelligent guy. Besides, the Velcro really was a bitch and his own palms were showing some wear and tear as well.

"I'm hanging up now, JC." Justin closed his phone and ran a critical eye over the catering table in front of him. He grabbed an apple, a bottle of water and a bag of peanut M&Ms. Turning, he watched with a grin as JC stalked through the door and straight over to Justin.

"How're those palms feeling, JC?" Justin smirked, popping three yellow M&Ms into his mouth. He always ate the yellow ones first and saved the red ones for last. It was the only right way to eat M&Ms.

JC snatched the bag of candy away from him and dumped half of it out in his hand. He plucked the red ones from the small pile and shoved them in all his mouth at once.

"Fucker," Justin remarked without heat. He tilted his head back and drained half his water bottle, lowering it and wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. Then he slowly and deliberately licked his lips. When he looked up, JC was watching him hungrily. Justin smiled, feeling smug. He'd taken JC's mind off the Velcro, anyway.

"You're pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?" JC asked around his mouthful of chocolate.

"Maybe," Justin allowed, grinning wider at JC.

JC swallowed Justin's red M&Ms and grinned back. "How much time we got until we have to be back up on those fucking bulls?"

"Half hour or so," Justin said. "Why? What'd you have in mind?"

Five minutes later Justin was pinned to the wall of an empty dressing room in the bowels of the Superdome, his pants around his ankles and JC's mouth around his dick. He moaned and tried to thrust as JC's hands pinned his hips in place. "Asshole," he groaned, and JC hummed a laugh around him that vibrated straight through to his spinal cord.

"Goddamn, JC," Justin whimpered as he shot down JC's throat. JC pulled off with a loud smacking sound, stood up and swiped his thumb across his bottom lip.

"How much trouble is that bull giving your ass?" JC asked, eyeing him speculatively.

Justin thought a minute, then turned around and braced his hands on the wall. "None at all," he threw over his shoulder. "Go ahead and do it."

JC laughed low and dirty. "Look at you, all ready to get fucked." Justin heard him spit into his hand. "I don't have anything with me, dude. This'll have to do."

Justin shivered. This was a bad idea, but he didn't care. They only had a few hours left to rehearse here in New Orleans, then they were flying to LA tonight to make the _Pop_ video. Really, he didn't need his ass for any of that. He turned his head and watched a little nervously as JC shoved his track pants down over his hips.

JC's voice echoed in his head from some long ago sex talk. _Spit does not make for good lube._ He closed his eyes and waited.

JC pressed up behind him, whispering in his ear. "Don't worry, J. I know we have to dance and make a video tomorrow." He ran his hands over Justin's ass and Justin quivered under his touch. JC's spit-slick cock slid between his legs, and JC started thrusting in the tight space between Justin's thighs. He grunted as the head of his dick rubbed between Justin's ass cheeks, teasing his balls, threatening to slip inside but never quite getting there. "Don't get hard again, J, there isn't time," he warned in a low voice.

Justin closed his eyes as he tried to dig his fingers into the solid concrete wall under his hands. He shoved his hips back, trying to get more, but what he really wanted stayed just out of reach. There was a little voice in his head that said that was a good thing, and really, he knew he'd be grateful later, but right this minute it was frustrating as hell.

JC's thrusts picked up speed and he said, "Justin," in a voice that was almost a growl and then there was slick heat making Justin feel slippery and hot all over.

Justin laughed breathlessly as JC pulled his pants back up with a grimace. "We need to find a bathroom, man. Let's go." He leaned forward and kissed Justin on the mouth. "Love ya, dawg."

They came out onto the floor of the stadium together, laughing and bumping shoulders. At least JC wasn't complaining about Velcro anymore. "Man, that was my favorite t-shirt," he said. "I'm just glad I was wearing more than one layer - "

Someone screamed and someone else yelled _oh my fucking god_ and people were running in all directions and Justin didn't want to believe his ears, but one of those voices belonged to Joey and it sounded like he was in pain.

Justin couldn't get close enough to see much of anything because there were about a million people standing around Joey, who was laid out on the ground and groaning loudly.

Justin's hand hurt and for a second he was confused, because he thought for sure it was _Joey_ who was hurt, not him, and then he realized JC was holding on to his hand so tightly he was in danger of breaking Justin's fingers.

And then it was quieter and Anthony was there, and Johnny and Tim, and it was stupid but Justin had the relieved thought _thank God there are grownups here_ and then Lonnie and Randy were herding them back to their dressing rooms to get changed to go to the airport.

And all that time JC never let go of Justin's hand except when he absolutely had to. Justin turned away when he saw Joey's blood all over Lance's hands. Lance looked like he was going to pass out any minute, but Chris was there to hold him up and help him wash it off and then Randy led them out to the buses.

Justin sat next to JC on the flight and they were halfway to LA when JC started to shake. Justin stood up, prying his hand out of JC's grip long enough to grab a couple of thin blue airline blankets out of the overhead compartment. He spread them out, tucking one of them under JC's chin and making sure his shoulders were covered.

Joey and Steve had managed to make the flight after spending several hours in the Emergency Room. Joey had some stitches, but he was going to be fine.

JC fell asleep with his head on Justin's shoulder, clutching his hand under the blanket. Justin leaned his head back against the seat and listened to the sound of Joey snoring off his pain meds in the row behind them.

The sound of it made Justin feel a little less scared, but mostly he just hung on to JC's hand.

 

 _ **vi**_

"I'm telling you, Justin, I can't take it anymore." JC sniffed into the phone, and then, as if that wasn't bad enough, he cleared his sinuses with a giant snort, followed by a phlegm-y sounding hack.

Justin fought back a wave of nausea as he snapped, "Jesus, JC, cut it out. That's so gross."

"So is that damned ferret," JC snapped right back at him. "I swear to God I'm allergic. And Lance doesn't even care. Not to mention that little rat-dog of Joey's." He sniffed again, this time sounding more pathetic than gross. "Can't we afford another bus?" he whined.

"Ask Johnny. If you hack and sneeze all over him at the meeting, maybe he'll get you a bus of your very own." Justin knew he didn't sound very sympathetic, but he felt more sorry for the people, such as himself, who had to put up with JC's supposed allergic reactions to all the animals Lance and Joey dragged along on tour with them than he did for JC. JC kept leaving balled-up tissues everywhere, every flat surface of the bus was covered with them, and Justin didn't feel sorry for him in the least. It was just gross, that's all there was to it.

"Ha fucking ha, Justin." JC sounded hurt. "It's not my fault I have allergies. Who keeps a ferret for a pet, anyway? They stink."

Justin couldn't really argue with him there. Dirk smelled like a combination of skunk and rotten cabbage and truth be told, Justin would just as soon not have him on the bus. God only knew what kind of germs he carried on his weaselly little body.

Justin peered at his watch. He could never find the numbers on it among all the diamonds and some days he longed for his old Timex Indiglo digital. He took a guess at the time and said into the phone, "The meeting's in an hour. I'll see you at the Compound, JC."

JC just had to get in one last sniff. "Fine," he said, and hung up.

Justin kind of wanted to disinfect his phone.

At the Compound, Justin seated himself on the couch farthest away from JC and his box of Kleenex. JC just rolled his eyes at him and glared at Lance.

Lance shrugged apologetically. Justin carefully studied him from head to toe. He wouldn't put it past Lance to have Dirk concealed somewhere about his person and Justin had left his hand-sanitizer in his car.

Johnny cleared his throat. "So, there are a few things to sort out before we get started on the second leg of the tour." He glanced around at them all seated expectantly on his pristine white sofas. "I'll go first."

The _No Strings Attached Tour_ was a big tour, and while the first leg had been a resounding success, there were things to tweak. Justin listened while Johnny went over the changes they were making to some of the sound equipment, some wardrobe adjustments, the names of the people who were leaving the tour and those who were joining it.

Justin could see JC fidgeting out of the corner of his eye, biting his nails and playing with his pants leg, stopping every once in a while to blow his nose. His nose was red and chapped looking, and his eyes were kind of glassy. Justin felt a twinge of pity stirring somewhere in the midst of the feelings of revulsion.

Finally JC raised his hand and said, "I've got something."

Johnny looked surprised to hear JC speak, especially since he had been right in the middle of listing the cities and dates for the second leg. "Yes, JC?"

"I want another bus. I can't - " he looked apologetically over at Lance. "I can't deal with the animals. It's like a zoo on the bus anymore, and I'm allergic." He sounded pleading and demanding at the same time, and Justin hid a grin behind his hand. JC hardly ever demanded anything, but when he did, it was usually pretty entertaining to watch.

JC sneezed and Lance rolled his eyes. "I think you just have a cold, JC. Dirk's not even here and look at you."

"It's on your clothes, dude. I can smell him." He turned beseeching eyes on Johnny. "Surely we can afford another bus or two, right?"

"And don't call me _Shirley,_ " Chris piped up from his spot between Lance and Joey. Joey laughed and Lance elbowed him in the ribs. "Hey."

Johnny looked thoughtful. "We could manage two buses without breaking the bank, yeah." He smiled evilly and said, "So, who wants to share with whom?"

There was a moment of silence and then they all started talking at once.

"I'm not living with that damned ferret - "

"Joey's a slob - "

"Justin gets too weird about anyone touching his stuff - "

"Chris is too loud - "

"You did not just say that, Fatone - "

Johnny let them squabble for a minute, then raised his voice over the chaos and said dryly, "Very illuminating."

"Well - " Chris started, and Johnny held up his hand.

"Does anyone besides Lance and Joey feel the need to drag their animals along with them?"

"Hell, yes. Busta's coming with me," Chris said, looking around as if daring anyone to argue with him.

"Busta shits in my bunk every chance he gets," Justin protested.

"So go live with the weasel," Chris shrugged.

"He's not a weasel," Lance snarled. He was getting red in the face. "He's a ferret and he's well-trained and he _doesn't_ stink," he added before JC could insist that he did. "He's been de-scented."

"Lance, anything that has to be _de-scented_ before it can live with humans is just wrong," JC said, waving his arms around to make his point.

"How does that explain Joey, then?" Chris asked. He shifted out of the way automatically as Joey threw another elbow in his direction.

Johnny opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again, apparently deciding to just wait them out.

"I don't want to ride on a bus with any of you fuckers," Joey stated. "But if I have to, I'll go with Lance. I _like_ Dirk," he said, frowning at JC.

"Does that mean you don't like Lance?" Chris asked.

"Shut up, Kirkpatrick." Joey looked at Justin. "So you get to choose between Dirk and Busta." He looked at JC. "And you get to choose between Dirk and Chris."

In the ensuing melee, Justin was sure he got called a neat-freak and an obsessive compulsive asshole, but in the end, they decided on two buses, with Lance and Joey riding together on one and JC, Justin and Chris on the other.

As they left the Compound together, Justin's arm around JC's shoulders, he whispered in JC's ear, "I wonder if Chris will hear you make that little sound you make when I blow you late at night in your bunk."

JC pulled away and looked at Justin, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Or that gaspy moaning thing you do when you're being fucked."

"I don't think there's enough room to fuck in those bunks," Justin mused. He considered. "We could practice, though." They reached their cars and Justin turned and leaned against his, smiling at JC.

"Like, what, J, you wanna go home and try and fuck in the closet, or something, see how small a space we can manage it in?" JC grinned invitingly at Justin.

Justin was about to take JC up on his offer when JC sneezed twice. "Um, maybe tomorrow?" Justin said, reaching behind him for the handle, opening the door and slipping quickly into the driver's seat.

"Fucker." JC threw a wadded up tissue at him. Luckily, Justin got his car door shut just in time.

 

 _ **v**_

Justin pushed his plate away irritably as he nodded into the phone. His mother gave him a look, but he ignored her. The sandwich sat there looking soggy and unappetizing, which Justin knew it wasn't, because his mom made the best sandwiches ever. He just wasn't hungry.

"Justin?"

"Yeah, JC, I'm here." He kicked at his chair and watched his mother decide whether or not to urge the sandwich on him again. He shook his head at her and shoved the plate farther away. She looked at him the way she used to when he was five, but he didn't care.

"You know there's another meeting with Adam tomorrow morning, don't you? You didn't forget?" JC asked. He sounded so tired, and Justin felt a rush of anger at Lou for making JC of all people feel like that. JC didn't deserve it.

"No, JC, I didn't forget. How the fuck could I forget? It's not like anyone's going to let me." Lynn finally gave up and took Justin's plate away, running a sympathetic hand over his hair as she walked over to the counter. Justin shrugged away from her, but it didn't help. She still managed to plant a kiss on the top of his head.

He smiled at her and said to JC, "Do you want to come over here tonight?" Lynn nodded encouragingly at him. _Pizza_ , she mouthed at him. "Mom says we can order pizza."

That drew a reluctant laugh out of JC. There was a time, when they were back in Nashville trying to write songs with Robin, that ordering a pizza was beyond their financial means. Justin had hoped that they'd gotten past that point, but fucking Lou had apparently been doing his best to make sure pizza was still a special occasion for everyone but himself.

"Hey, yeah, sure, I'll be there in a little while. AG isn't home yet and I need to talk to him first," JC said.

 _Talk to him_ meant JC had a song he wanted Alex to listen to. "Is it that _yippie-ki-yi-yay motherfucker_ that was on your phone the other day?" Justin asked.

" _Why-yi-yi-yippi-yi-yay,_ " JC corrected, "And, yes." Justin sighed. JC was defiantly writing songs all over the place in hope that some day there would be a new album to put them on. Justin thought that was just asking for trouble, like a jinx or something, and was obstinately not writing anything.

Or maybe he was just too depressed to write songs. What was the point when Lou was going to make it impossible for them to ever record again, at least under the name NSYNC? He sighed. "Okay, I'll see you whenever."

"Later, dawg." JC hung up singing _yippi-yi-yi-yippi-yi-yo_ in Justin's ear.

Justin sighed again and dropped his head to the kitchen table, resting it wearily on his forearms. He heard the other chair scrape along the floor as his mother pulled it out and sat down. He lifted his head and looked at her, trying to blink away sudden tears.

"Justin," Lynn said. "Baby, I know. It's gonna be fine, you'll see."

"How?" Justin demanded. "How is it gonna be fine? There's no way - "

"Justin Randall," Lynn interrupted sharply. "That's enough of that kind of talk." Her voice softened and she said, "You just have to have faith, sweetie."

Justin nodded and swiped the back of his hand angrily over his eyes. He didn't want to talk about it. He stood up and said, "JC'll be over later. He and Alex are writing."

His mother nodded. "Have you - "

"No! And I'm not going to." He hoped she wouldn't push it. If they won in court, they'd need new songs for Jive, but he just couldn't. Not yet.

Lynn didn't say anything else about it, she just nodded again and said, "Let me know when you're ready to call for pizza."

JC liked the weirdest shit on his pizza. Justin wasn't a fan of pineapple and jalapenos at all, so they compromised on pepperoni and extra cheese. That was _not_ boring, he didn't care what JC said. Also, they were calling from Justin's house, so he got to choose.

"So," JC announced, chewing around an enormous mouthful of pizza, "I gave my deposition today, man." He swallowed and said, "I really laid it out there, even said that at the end of the day Lou made Lance get sick."

"Well, he did," Justin said darkly. "Fucker."

JC nodded. "Yep." His hand hovered over the last slice and he looked at Justin. Justin blinked at the almost empty box. JC ate faster than anyone he knew. He shrugged and JC grabbed the pizza and shoved it in his mouth.

"That's gross, JC," Justin said, but his heart wasn't in the insult. His heart wasn't in much these days. Fucking Lou.

JC wiped his fingers on the wadded up napkin clutched in his fist and tossed it into the empty pizza box. "Your mom upstairs for the night?"

"I guess," Justin replied. He knew where JC was going with this, and he wasn't sure his heart was in that, either. "She won't come back down here."

"Wanna fuck?" JC asked casually.

"I don't know, C." Justin stared morosely at the television, where Ross and Rachel were arguing about something.

"Justin." Something in JC's tone made Justin pay attention. "Do you want to fuck, dawg?" he repeated slowly.

Whoa. "You mean, really _fuck?_ " Blowjobs and handjobs were one thing, but _fuck?_ As in someone's dick going in someone's ass? Not that Justin hadn't thought about it before. JC could bring him off sometimes with just his fingers, but they'd never...

JC waved his hand in front of Justin's face and grinned at him affectionately. "J. It was just a question. We don't have to."

"No, no, I want to," Justin said eagerly. He did want to now that JC had brought it up. "Um, who..."

"Well, what do you want?" JC cocked his head and looked at him, his eyes glittering with something that made Justin's heart stutter in his chest.

"I don't know..." he trailed off. Okay, yes, he did know. He straightened his shoulders and said. "You. In me - um, you know, um - " He could feel his face flame. If he couldn't even ask for it, how could he actually do it?

JC must have taken pity on him, because he reached out and took Justin's chin between his fingers and gave it a gentle shake. "Hey, it's okay, we can do it that way, that's fine."

Justin didn't meet his eyes. "Um, I've never - " and then he thought what a stupid thing _that_ was to say because could it be any more obvious that he'd never fucked a guy before? And then he made it worse by saying, "How - "

JC chuckled. "C'mere," and he kind of pinned Justin to the couch and kissed him until Justin felt himself relax. This he could do, he could make out for hours, they did this all the time, and he could do it with his eyes closed and one hand tied behind his back. And then he flushed at the images _that_ train of thought led to, and JC pulled back and said, "What?"

Wordlessly, Justin shook his head. Justin had the impression that C was a kinky bastard and he wasn't putting any ideas in his head at this point in the proceedings.

Just as Justin was getting to the point where he thought JC was just going to kiss him forever, where he had Justin's shirt rucked up under his armpits and his jeans open, his dick poking up hard and leaking from the waistband of his boxers, when Justin was breathless and desperate to come, JC said, "Turn over."

"What?" Justin was having trouble focusing. He only knew that JC's mouth was gone from where it had been a moment before, hot and wet on his belly. JC placed a hand on his hip and gave it a gentle push, and then Justin's brain caught up. "Oh. Okay."

He scrambled to comply, turning over onto his stomach, pushing back, up onto his knees, clutching the arm of the couch and just trying to breathe.

JC tugged Justin's jeans down to his knees, and Justin tried to shift to get them off but JC's hand on the small of his back stopped him, held him still. He couldn't move, he was trapped between his pants and JC, and for a minute he thought about panicking and then he remembered this was JC and JC wouldn't hurt him.

He wanted to ask JC if he'd planned this, because why else would there be condoms and lube in his pocket, but he'd ask about that later. Right now he was just gonna concentrate on JC fingers sliding cool and slippery inside, stroking and stretching until Justin pleaded, "JC, JC," in a ragged voice he barely recognized as his own.

It hurt and then it didn't and all Justin could think was why hadn't they done this sooner. He pushed back, again and again, and JC was hot against his back, sweat slick between them. JC's fingers dug into his hips and Justin reached for his own dick, jerking himself desperately, coming over his fingers with a cry.

JC shuddered above him then went still, grunting Justin's name in his ear. When JC shifted, trying to move off of Justin, Justin reached back and put his hand on JC's thigh, keeping him in place until Justin could get his bearings again.

Then he said, "You're heavy," and JC laughed softly and pushed himself up.

They cleaned up and got dressed without saying much, but Justin felt a smile tugging at his lips as he shoved the pizza box to the side and settled himself back on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and JC slouched next to him, their thighs touching companionably.

There was an answering smile on JC's face, and as _Seinfeld_ morphed into another episode of _Friends_ , Justin felt better than he had in weeks. It was like he and JC were connected in a new way, or maybe the way they were connected was better, more complete, somehow.

It made all the other shit a little easier to deal with.

 

 ** _iv_**

"Oh, my God, JC." Justin could barely breathe. "Oh, my God."

JC laughed delightedly. "I know, Justin, I know. This is so rad."

While part of his brain was asking who in the hell said _rad_ anymore, mostly Justin was still trying to breathe past his excitement. "Janet motherfucking Jackson. We're opening for Janet motherfucking Jackson." The phone trembled in his hand.

"I know, dude." JC sounded almost as breathless as Justin felt.

"Nine dates, JC." Justin took a deep, steadying breath. "And, JC. JC, she wants us to sing Stevie with her," he whispered reverently. He wondered if it was possible for him to have a spontaneous orgasm just thinking about singing _Overjoyed_ with Janet Jackson. Nine motherfucking times. He swallowed.

"Okay, well we already got the Epcot gig out of the way, we have three days before we have to be in Baltimore, man. We need to rehearse! Let's get on it!" Justin could tell JC was excited because he sounded even dorkier than usual.

"So come pick me up! What time is practice? Is Robin coming? Does she know the arrangement?" This was going to be the coolest thing that Justin had ever done. There was no way performing with Janet Jackson could ever be anything other than perfect. He still had her poster somewhere, tucked away in the back of his closet, even if he was too cool to hang it on his bedroom wall anymore. Maybe he should dig it back out.

"I'll be there in two hours, J. See ya then!"

Robin had apparently spent some time talking with Janet's musical director, because she had the score for _Overjoyed_ and had pretty much finished arranging it for their voices by the time Justin and JC arrived at the Compound. They were doing it a cappella and Justin looked over Robin's shoulder, fussing at her about the details until she told him to get lost for another half hour or she'd cut off his curls when he was sleeping.

"This is important, yo," he objected as she shooed him away.

"Really? I didn't know. I'm so glad you told me," she teased, and she made pleading gestures for JC to take Justin away.

Justin grumbled as JC dragged him down the hallway. "Where are we going? I wanna stay, I wanna make sure - "

"Justin, Robin knows what she's doing. If you don't relax, your hair isn't the only thing she's going to cut off."

JC propelled Justin in front of him into the lounge area, where Joey and Chris were bowling while Lance watched, clutching a wad of money in his hand. He waved it at Justin and JC. "Twelve dollars. They're real high rollers, these two," he said. Joey managed to get a strike and Chris frowned.

"I know you're cheating, Joey. I just need to figure out how you're doing it," he said. "Just give me some more time."

"Bite me, Kirkpatrick," Joey said, unruffled, as he picked up his bowling ball again.

"You gentlemen want to add to the pot?" Lance asked Justin and JC, waving his fistful of money at them.

"No thanks, Justin said, his mind still on Robin. "Did you guys know Robin's - "

"Yes, Justin," Chris interrupted. "Why do you think we're playing _Bowling for Dollars?_ We're staying out of her way." He eyed Justin narrowly. "You weren't bothering her, were you?"

"No," JC said hastily. "We were just gonna go, um, find something to eat. Let's go, J."

JC tugged on Justin's arm and dragged him out of the room, ignoring his protests. Justin didn't want anything to eat. Justin wasn't hungry. Justin wanted to make sure the song was right.

Justin found himself being dragged down a long corridor, up a short flight of steps and into a small, dark room, where he was unceremoniously tossed onto a soft, squishy couch. "Don't move."

Justin opened his mouth to protest, but JC pointed at him and said, "Don't talk, either."

JC dropped to his knees and reached for Justin's belt buckle. Justin decided his best course of action would be to sit still and keep quiet. He was rewarded for this decision by JC's mouth on his dick, licking up the underside, tongue swirling around the head, sucking him down and humming noisily in the back of his throat.

The result of this sudden and expert assault was that Justin came so quickly it was embarrassing. He comforted himself with the fact that he'd been feeling on the verge ever since he found out that they were going to be opening for Janet on a leg of her _Velvet Rope Tour_.

Really, that was his excuse and he was sticking to it.

JC sat back on his heels and wiped his mouth smugly. "Now, would you relax?"

"Maybe," Justin allowed. He did feel a little less light-headed about the whole thing. He smiled at JC. "Your turn?"

JC shrugged. "Sure. I'm not about to turn down a blowjob." He climbed up on the couch next to Justin and looked at him expectantly.

Justin smiled at JC uncertainly. He'd been thinking more along the lines of a handjob. JC liked it when Justin jerked him off. JC's eyes crinkled at the corners and he leaned forward to kiss Justin. Justin still thought it was weird to taste himself on JC's lips after a blowjob. Most of the girls he hooked up with when they were on tour didn't swallow.

JC's tongue swept into Justin's mouth and Justin closed his eyes and let himself be kissed. He fumbled with JC's pants until JC pushed his hands away and unfastened them himself.

Justin pulled reluctantly away from JC's mouth and sank to his knees. He licked a tentative swipe up JC's dick, then kissed the head. He liked how JC tasted, he really did, but he still wasn't very good at this. He lived in fear of his own teeth. JC would never forgive him if -

And thoughts of inflicting permanent damage on JC's dick weren't exactly conducive to giving an effective blowjob, so Justin cleared his mind and concentrated on seeing what kind of sounds he could get JC to make.

And when JC gritted out Justin's name in warning, Justin closed his eyes and went for it, not pulling off, but swallowing as JC spilled over his tongue.

JC tugged Justin off his dick, fingers wrapped in Justin's hair, saying, "Not bad, J, you're getting better," and Justin glowed under the praise as he surreptitiously wiped a bit of come off his chin .

"You ready to go back there? You think you can behave like a professional now?" JC asked as he tucked himself inside his pants.

Justin licked his lips and decided that the first thing he was gonna do when they went back to the others was stop at the kitchen and get a Coke. He nodded. "Sure, C. Let's go."

They smiled at each other and JC grabbed Justin's neck, pulled him forward and kissed his forehead softly. "This is gonna be good for us, man. I can feel it."

 

 _ **iii**_

Justin waited until his mom left to go down the hall to Lance and Mrs. Bass's room, then he quickly picked up the phone and dialed JC's room.

"Hello?"

"JC," Justin hissed, keeping one eye on the door. "What time are you and Chris going out tonight?"

"Justin?"

"Yes, dammit. What time? I don't have all day here, JC." It was too bad the phone cord didn't reach over to the door, so Justin could listen for his mom to come back.

"Why do you want to know?" JC asked suspiciously.

Justin rolled his eyes. "Why do you think? I wanna go with."

"No way."

"JC, come on. My mom and Mrs. Bass are going out tonight. My mom says she can't stand one more minute of - hang on, JC." He broke off and listened carefully, but whatever he heard, it wasn't his mom. "Anyway, she wants a break. She says we're driving her crazy." He shrugged. "Too much noise on the bus today, I think. It's Chris's fault," he finished cheerfully.

"No," JC said again.

"JCeeeeeeeee," Justin said, drawing out JC's name exactly the way he knew JC hated.

"Justin," JC said calmly. "There's no way you're coming with us."

Justin thought about it for a minute. "I'll do that thing you like, C. You know, that thing with my hand? You like my hands, don't you JC?" He lowered his voice to what he hoped was a seductive murmur but what he suspected really just sounded like he had a bad cold. "You remember last week on the plane, when everyone else was sleeping? I could do that again if you wanted me to. I'll do anything you want me to, JC."

"Jesus Christ, Justin," JC croaked. Justin smiled, pleased with himself. It was hard for JC to resist him, he knew.

"So can I go?"

"No. I'm not saying that." Justin started to protest but JC talked right over him. "There's no way you're going to the Century Club, that's spelled J-a-h-r-h-u-n-d-e-r-t, two blocks south of the hotel, just in case, and we're not meeting in the lobby at nine o'clock, Justin. No way." And JC hung up on him.

Just in time, too, because Lynn poked her head around the door and said, "Justin? Were you talking to someone?"

"Just JC," Justin said.

"Okay, good," Lynn said, sounding distracted. She looked around the room, her eyes lighting on her suitcase. "I wonder if I brought that brown sweater with the gold thread running through it? I meant to pack it the last time we were home, just in case I ever got to go somewhere with grownups ever again." She stopped digging through her clothes for a second. "No offense, honey," she threw over her shoulder with a grin.

"None taken," Justin assured her. "I know Chris was extra loud today."

Justin's mother snorted. "Yes, that's right, Justin. _Chris_ was loud and obnoxious and the rest of you were perfect angels." She held up the sparkly brown sweater she'd been looking for. "Thank goodness."

Justin grinned at her as she headed toward the bathroom. "Yep," he agreed. "You want me to kick his ass tomorrow?"

"I want you to get a good night sleep tonight," Lynn said severely. "I don't want your tonsillitis coming back before we get a chance to see Dr. Wilson when we go home next month." She considered him for a moment, a small smile playing around her lips. "We'll probably be back around midnight. No later, Justin." She looked at him significantly before closing the bathroom door behind her.

His mom was the coolest mom ever.

At nine o'clock on the dot Justin slipped off the elevator in the lobby. JC and Chris were already there. Chris took one look at Justin and said, "Oh, hell, no. No way."

"JC said I could," Justin said smugly. JC threw him a dark look and Justin stuck out his chin. "Well, you did."

Chris threw up his hands. "Fine, fine, let's just get the hell out of here before your mom comes back early and kills me dead before I get a chance to tell her it was all JC's fault." He shot a glance around the lobby. "Where the hell are Joey and Lance?"

As he spoke the elevator doors slid open and Joey and Lance got off. Chris waved at them and said urgently, "Come on, if you're coming."

Justin loved going to German clubs. At sixteen, he was still too young to legally drink but no one seemed to really care if JC or Chris handed him a beer or two. Justin had been drinking since the eighth grade, when he and Trace used to steal beer out of the refrigerator Trace's dad kept in their garage. He was really good at holding his liquor and both Chris and JC knew it.

The club was loud and dark, and there were hot bodies moving together on the crowded dance floor, and it was like nothing he could do at home in Orlando. Justin loved every second of it.

And he loved it, too, when JC danced pressed up against his back, grinding his hips against Justin's ass like he couldn't help himself. Justin turned and grabbed JC by the wrist and towed him down the dark corridor to the bathrooms.

"Justin," JC protested, but Justin ignored him.

"Come on, JC. Let me." They waited as a tall blond guy left the bathroom, then Justin pulled JC in after him and pushed him up against the door, keeping everyone else out. "JC," he said, and kissed him hungrily. JC kissed him back, his mouth open, wet and fierce.

Justin reached down and rubbed the palm of his hand over JC's dick. It was hard under JC's jeans, and JC moaned as Justin curled his fingers, tightening his hand in the loose denim.

"Justin," JC gasped against his lips. Justin slid his hand beneath JC's waistband to touch warm skin, sliding his fingers into damp curls, and he jerked JC off slow and dirty, the way JC had shown him, the way he knew JC liked.

JC thrust his leg between Justin's thighs, letting Justin rub against it, his muscles hard from hours of dancing. JC tore his mouth away from Justin's and leaned his forehead against Justin's shoulder. "Shit, shit," he moaned as he shot over Justin's fingers.

Justin shuddered with JC and moved faster, his thrusts harder, his orgasm hitting him like a freight train. This whole getting freaky in a public place was pretty hot.

They leaned against each other for a minute, catching their breaths, Justin peering around for a paper towel dispenser. His underwear was sticking to him and his hand was covered with JC's come and it was gross.

They cleaned up and made their way back out into the club. Justin grinned unrepentantly at Chris when he gave them shit for disappearing.

Shortly before midnight, JC dragged them all back to the hotel. "We have to get up and go to Spain tomorrow, you guys," he yelled at them over the thumping bass beat. "Besides which, your moms are already going to kill us," he said, pointing at Justin and Lance.

"Nah," said Justin as they trooped out into the cold night air. "They know we went with you guys." Lance nodded.

Justin was flying high from the music, the beer, and JC. He flung his arms out, spinning around in exhilaration. "Well, let's get going, then, if we're going to Spain" he called, as he ran down the street toward their hotel, the other four hot on his heels.

 

 _ **ii**_

"I can't believe you want to talk about this on the phone, Justin," JC said. He was almost whispering.

"Well, when else are we going to get a chance to talk?" Justin asked reasonably. "There's always someone else hanging around, Josh."

"Yeah, but - "

"So I found a pay phone while Mom buys groceries. Aren't you alone in the house? Why are you whispering?"

"Because!"

"That's not an answer, JC. And neither is _no_. You said you'd think about it." Justin knew very well that Chris was at work and Lance was over at Joey's house. JC didn't need to whisper.

"Justin! You're fourteen years old! I'm not having sex with you!" JC sounded like he was strangling on something.

"I'm not asking you to - you know," Justin said, blushing in spite of himself. He didn't want to have _sex_ with JC. He just wanted - something, he kept having these _feelings,_ feelings about JC, and he didn't know what to do about them. A kiss seemed a good place to start. He just needed to convince JC.

"You can't even say it, Justin!" JC exclaimed, as if that meant something.

"JC, chill out, yo. How old were you the first time you had sex?" Justin waited, but JC didn't say anything. "That's what I thought," Justin said triumphantly. He'd so made his point.

"Dammit, Justin. I didn't have sex with someone that was _five years older than me!_ "

"Why are you so hung up on this age thing, JC?" Justin asked. He heard more strangled noises and something about Justin's mom and jail time. "Just think about it, JC. Okay, I just want - will you at least kiss me? Can I kiss you? I've kissed girls before, and one time, me and Trace - " Justin stopped. JC didn't need to know about that. "Okay, we were high, Trace had this weed that - " Another thing JC probably didn't need to know about. He cleared his throat. "Please, JC?"

"I'm hanging up now, dude." There was a dial tone in Justin's ear. That was okay. He wasn't discouraged. He wasn't sure why JC was being so difficult about this, aside from the age thing, which was dumb. After everything they'd been through together, it was the least JC could do, in Justin's opinion.

He helped his mom put away the groceries. With everyone except Joey living in the house Lou was renting for them, Lynn was always buying food. JC alone ate more than the rest of them put together, although Justin had no idea where he put it. JC was as skinny as he'd ever been. He probably just burned it off when he danced.

Justin wasn't in a hurry. He took his time, even took the new package of toilet paper and put it under the bathroom sink, put the new tube of toothpaste in the medicine cabinet. His mom smiled her appreciation, and he smiled back.

Justin wasn't worried. JC wasn't going anywhere.

He was actually pretending to take a nap in his tiny closet of a bedroom. Justin thought about going in there and waking him up, maybe with a kiss, but after giving it some thought, he decided he'd better not. They already had very little privacy in the small house, and barging into someone's room when they had their door closed wasn't a good habit to get into. He would want other people to respect his closed door.

Besides, JC would probably thump him, and that wasn't the reaction Justin wanted.

With the wheels turning in his mind, he changed into his bathing suit and went outside to the backyard pool. His mom put in a load of laundry, then she came out and sat by the pool with a glass of iced tea and read a magazine while Justin swam. It was a rare moment of peace and Justin appreciated the time to think. To plan.

Joey and Lance were having supper at Joey's house, and Chris was going to eat at work after his shift was over. That was one of the cool things about waiting tables, the free food. And Chris worked at Outback, where the food was decent. Justin couldn't imagine having to eat sushi or something weird like that every meal. He shuddered.

That left Lynn, Justin and JC as the only ones eating at home this evening.

They were supposed to go to the warehouse at seven o'clock tonight to practice. That meant they'd be home around eleven. JC had to go to work in the morning, so he'd probably go right to bed when they got home.

But Justin had already done his homework. If he played his cards right, he and JC should have about half an hour alone after supper while his mom did the dishes.

It was going to require split-second timing and maybe some luck, but Justin was determined. He didn't really believe in luck, he believed in working for what he wanted.

And he wanted JC.

JC came out of his room when Lynn told him supper was ready, looking around warily as if expecting Justin to jump him at the kitchen table. But Justin chatted easily all though dinner, with no significant glances or any indication that he and JC had ever had a conversation about anything more interesting than their practice schedule or the cool noises Joey could make with his armpits.

JC gradually relaxed, and Justin congratulated himself on lulling him into a false sense of security. He smiled innocently at JC as Lynn talked about what Justin's grandma said on the phone that afternoon and JC gave him a tentative smile in return.

So successful was Justin's plan that he was able to corner JC in his room after he'd helped Lynn clear the supper table without any trouble at all. Justin waited in the bathroom across the hall, the door cracked open about an inch, watching. JC went into his room and was changing his shirt, the door wide open, when Justin made his move.

He stood inside JC's room, closed the door behind him, and smiled. It was light-years away from the innocent smile of the supper table.

JC paled.

Justin advanced slowly, keeping himself between JC and the door in case JC tried to bolt. The room was so small that JC really had no place to go. Justin had him backed up against his bed in no time.

"Justin..."

"Just one kiss, JC. And then I'll leave you alone." He smiled again. "If you really want me to after that."

JC smiled a little at Justin's words and then seemed to catch himself, because a frown quickly replaced the crooked little grin. Justin shook his head.

"I like it better when you smile at me, JC." He put his hand on JC's shoulder and looked up at him from under his lashes. He waited for JC to give in. It didn't take long. Justin leaned up and JC leaned down and their mouths met somewhere in the middle.

JC's lips were soft and they moved slowly over Justin's. Justin pressed his mouth against JC's and let his tongue lick at JC's bottom lip a little bit. It was unbearably hot, and better than any kiss Justin had ever had, because it was JC.

JC pulled away and smiled down at Justin, his eyes crinkled up in that way that made Justin's heart clench a little, every time.

Justin smiled back at JC and turned toward the door. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes."

That night the warehouse was about a million degrees, but Justin didn't even feel it. Every time JC smiled at him, he felt like he could dance all night.

 

 _ **i**_

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Justin?" Justin didn't recognize the voice on the other end of the phone. It was kind of nasal and enthusiastic at the same time.

"Yes, this is Justin. Can I help you?" He wondered where his mom was, if this guy was some sort of salesman, or something, if he needed to go find her. He looked around the small kitchen for a pencil in case he had to take a message.

"Hi, this is Josh. Um, I mean JC. From the Mouse Club. You're one of the new kids, right? I mean, I know you are, because that's why I called you." The guy laughed really loud and Justin felt himself start to worry a little.

What if everyone on the _Mickey Mouse Club_ was like this, loud and kind of dorky? He was starting on the show tomorrow and he was so excited he could hardly stand it. But what if everyone was weird or something?

"Uh, yeah?" Justin said, wondering if this guy was Josh Ackerman, or wait, he'd said JC. Did he mean JC Chasez? Justin knew who JC was. He knew who everyone on the show was.

"Okay, so I'm supposed to call you. When there's a new kid, someone kind of, you know, shows you stuff, tells you things you need to know." He seemed to be waiting for an answer, but Justin had no idea what he was supposed to say.

"Okay," he said, still wondering if this was Josh or JC.

"So that's me. For you. You get me. On your first day, I mean," the guy said happily.

"Okay," Justin said again. "So, who are you? Are you Josh or JC?"

JC's loud laugh rang in Justin's ear again. "Haha, yeah, sorry, I'm JC. JC Chasez."

JC was the one with the dark, floppy hair and the smiling eyes. Justin had been watching reruns of the show ever since he found out he'd been chosen as one of the new kids. JC had a really great voice, and he was pretty funny in the skits they did, too.

"Wipeout," Justin said.

"Hey, yeah, that's me," JC said. "So, okay, I'll see you tomorrow, then, I guess."

"Sure," Justin said. "I'll see you tomorrow, JC."

It was real, he was going to be on television, on the _Mickey Mouse Club_ , and he was going to get to sing and dance and do skits and Justin couldn't wait.

He felt like his whole life was going to start tomorrow.

JC turned out to be the same goofy guy in person that he'd been on the phone. Justin didn't think he ever sat still, and his smile was wide and infectious and made everyone smile back at him.

He was also quiet sometimes, and he danced with an energy most of the other kids couldn't match.

Justin was impressed. This was someone he wanted to know, someone to watch and learn from.

There was no way he was calling it a crush. A crush was something you had on girls, although Justin hadn't really ever had one, but he knew what they were. He figured he hadn't met any good girls yet, was all.

The older kids on the show hung around together, both on and off set, and they really didn't pay much attention to the younger kids very often. Justin spent a lot of time with Ryan, Matt, and Britney instead of JC.

Ryan was a trouble-maker, and he made fun of Justin's Southern manners, accusing him of being a brown-noser, but Ryan's mom had to leave sometimes to go back home, and Justin thought that would be awful. Mostly he and Ryan got along okay.

Justin rounded the corner on his way to the bathroom, running the lyrics of the song they were in the middle of taping through his head. He looked up just in time to see Ryan stalking out of the assistant producer's office, a scowl on his face.

"Hey, Ry. What's up?"

"Nothing." Ryan's scowl deepened. Justin figured they must have been yelling at Ryan again. They did that a lot.

The two boys fell into step together, heading back to the set. "You wanna come over tonight? My mom'll let us get pizza."

Ryan shrugged. "Sure." They walked a little further and Justin saw JC watching them from the doorway of the older boys' dressing room.

JC studied Ryan's stormy face, then smiled warmly at the arm Justin had slung over Ryan's shoulder, his eyes crinkling in approval and his soft brown hair bouncing when he nodded.

No, Justin told himself. He was a twelve-year old boy. He did not have a crush on JC Chasez.

Britney was great. Justin really liked her. They spent a lot of time talking about what they wanted to do with their lives, how they wanted to keep going in show business when they got older. Justin's mom liked Britney a lot.

Justin loved performing. It felt as necessary to him as breathing, although he had a hard time explaining that to his mom. She knew anyway, though. She knew how much he loved it.

When Justin got to work with JC, in sketches or song and dance numbers, or whatever, it was great. When they were on stage together, Justin knew there was something special about it. He never said a word to JC, though. He didn't know how to say it.

Then Disney cancelled the show. It wasn't fair, Justin raged at his mom. He'd only been there for two years. It wasn't fair. He couldn't go back to Millington and go to school like a regular kid, he just couldn't.

"This isn't the end, Justin," JC said on their last day. "There'll be other stuff, you'll see." JC didn't sound very convincing, and his eyes looked a little red.

Justin didn't want to cry in front of JC, but he couldn't help it. He found himself sobbing helplessly on JC's neck after they wrapped for the very last time. "It's not fair, Josh," he choked out, sounding just like a little kid. Shit, he was thirteen years old, he wasn't a baby, but he was just so sad.

"I'm going to LA, Justin. And I'll call you. Or you'll call me. I promise, it's not over." JC's voice was more determined now, and he said it again. "I promise."

Justin believed him. 


End file.
